guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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