She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
