butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
