Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize