You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
