and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then my night got REAL pukey
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
