You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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