there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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