I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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