So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
