A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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