i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
