I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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