A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize