i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
