Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize