they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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