so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
