Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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