NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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