I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
