I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
