R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
