I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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