mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
