remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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