i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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