yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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