it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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