I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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