Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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