Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
