Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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