if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry about my life...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
