i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
