The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
