O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
