I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
