grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
