i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
