Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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