His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
