ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
