So drunk its hurt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
