I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
