take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
