Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
