I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
