in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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