i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize