and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
