If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
