There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
