she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
