If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize