I think my fart just growled at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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