He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
