Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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