I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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