You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
