I accidentally burped into my bong.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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