he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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