She is in my trunk
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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