im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
