My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We had sex on a dog bed..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
