We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
