it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He better not be in your backpack
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize