it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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