I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize