Just mADE A PArabola og urine
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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