Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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