a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
operation have a gay friend backfired
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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