you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
