Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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