whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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