i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He did a backflip because drugs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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