didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize