I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
