My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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